When couples get married, managing money can be a challenge. Who makes the decisions and pays the bills? Should you merge your money or keep it separate? How do you handle debt? To find out how couples navigate these tricky issues and more, in August/September 2024 SoFi surveyed 600 adults who have been married less than one year about how they approach finances in their relationship.

Our findings suggest that most newlyweds communicate early and often about financial issues, are relatively in sync when it comes to saving and spending, and merge at least some of their money. However, they also prize their independence: The majority maintain separate bank accounts, have pre-nuptial or post-nuptual agreements, and some even keep financial secrets from their partner.

Key Findings

Some highlights of SoFi’s 2024 Love & Money survey of recently married couples include:

•   82% keep at least some of their money separate from their spouses.

•   62% have a joint bank account.

•   36% have a pre-nuptial agreement and 21% have a post-nuptial agreement.

•   72% put one partner in charge of day-to-day money management.

•   22% keep financial secrets from their spouse.

•   40% of couples are still paying off wedding debt.

Managing Money: Yours, Mine, or Ours?

Should you merge your money after marriage or keep at least some of it separate? There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Any set-up can work as long as the lines of communication stay open. Here’s what today’s newlyweds are doing according to our survey.

42% Have Both Joint and Individual Bank Accounts

As a practical matter, joint bank accounts can make sense after marriage, since it’s typically easier to manage household expenses with a shared account. Joint accounts also enable financial transparency. But most survey respondents also want to maintain their financial autonomy.

While 20% have merged all their funds into one joint account, nearly 40% maintain only individual accounts. The most popular option (chosen by 42%) is a hybrid approach: having both joint and individual accounts.

How does the hybrid approach work? One option is to have income go directly into the joint account for shared expenses, then set up a monthly transfer into each partner’s personal account. Or, you might have income go into your personal accounts then each make a monthly transfer into the joint account, for household bills and shared expenses. Your contribution can be the same or proportional based on income.

72% Put One Partner in Charge of Everyday Money Management

It may not be romantic, but at some point newlyweds need to determine who is going to keep track of and pay all of the household bills. Some divide and conquer, while others elect one partner to deal with the dollars. Either option can work — the key is to have a system in place so bills don’t fall through the cracks.

Most respondents to our survey (72%) have one CFO (chief financial officer) in their marriage, while 28% share money management tasks. More specifically:

57% Have a Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreement

A growing number of couples are signing legal contracts that spell out how financial assets will be handled in the event of a divorce: Prenups that are signed before marriage, and postnups that are signed after a couple walks down the aisle. Our recent survey of soon-to-be-married couples found that 14% were considering a prenup. In this survey, a full 36% of respondents said they have a prenuptial agreement, while 21% have a postnuptial contract. Another 6% are considering one of these contracts.

Transparency and Communication

Effective communication and trust are the building blocks of any successful partnership. Fortunately, most couples in our survey talk frequently and honestly about money. That said, some partners are holding key financial information back.

91% Talk With Their Spouse About Money at Least Monthly

In general, communicating about finances is a priority for couples in SoFi’s survey. About a third of couples in our poll talk to their partners about money monthly, while 45% discuss money weekly, and 15% converse about financial topics biweekly.

But Some Subjects May Be Off-Limits: 22% Keep Financial Secrets From Their Spouse

While establishing financial boundaries in a marriage is healthy, hiding or lying about financial issues can lead to money fights and breed mistrust over time. The good news is most couples we polled seem to be on the right track — nearly 80% said they rarely or never keep money secrets from their spouse.

However, there is some cause for concern: Roughly 1 in 4 recently married adults report that they sometimes or often keep money secrets from their significant other.

Spending Money After Marriage

Couples today generally know it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to spending vs. saving and wise to set up a household budget. Still, many partners don’t relish the idea of having their mates micromanage their personal spending.

37% of Partners Spend Without Consulting Their Spouse

There are a number of ways to manage discretionary (aka, “fun”) spending in a marriage. Some couples let each partner spend however they want, while keeping an eye on the overall budget. Others choose to consult each other on all nonessential purchases (or purchases above a certain price point). A third option is to allot a set amount of money to each partner that they can spend however they like. You agree on the amount, but not how it’s spent.

When asked how they and their spouse handle discretionary spending, SoFi respondents said:

55% Are Very Comfortable With Their Partner’s Spending

Adults often come into marriage with different money mindsets — for example, you might be a saver, while your spouse loves to spend, spend, spend. These attitudes and habits are often formed during childhood based on how our families handled money and how much financial security we had growing up.

How do our couples align? More than half of respondents (55%) are completely comfortable with their partner’s spending habits, and 36% are somewhat comfortable. However, 10% did admit to some reservations about their spouse’s spending: 7% are somewhat uncomfortable with it, and 3% are very uncomfortable.

43% of Newlyweds Wish They Had Spent More on Their Wedding

Weddings are notoriously expensive (averaging around $33,000). So it’s not surprising most respondents took on debt to pay for their big day. What is: A full 43% said they wish that they had spent more on their big day. Around 30% said they would spend less, and 31% would spend the same.

Dealing With Debt

Managing debt often becomes more complicated — and more expensive — with marriage. Many partners enter into a relationship owing money for things like credit cards, student loans, or car payments. Couples may then take on additional debt together, whether it’s to pay for their wedding or buy a car or a home. Here’s how newlyweds are managing their individual and shared debts.

40% Are Still Paying Off Wedding Debt

Approximately four in 10 survey participants are in the process of repaying the debt they incurred from their wedding. The good news is that many couples pay it all off within the first year of marriage. Among newlyweds polled:

65% Work as a Team to Pay Off Pre-Existing Debt

When it comes to individual debts, SoFi’s Love & Money survey suggests that newlywed couples are generally upfront with each other about what they owe. Three-quarters of respondents said they told their partner about all their debt before they got married, and 19% partially disclosed their debt details. Only 6% kept mum about their outstanding balances.

Here’s how our poll respondents are handling prior debt:

58% Took Out Loans With Their Partner Before Marriage — and Most Plan to Borrow Even More Money

Nearly 60% of respondents had joint loans with their partners before they tied the knot — namely personal loans (28%), car loans (26%), and mortgages (25%). And 84% are planning to take out more together in the near future.

Source: SoFi 2024 Love & Money survey

Planning for a Secure Financial Future

Even though they’ve been married for less than a year, the majority of respondents in SoFi’s Love & Money survey are already looking ahead and working on saving for the future.

65% Have a Shared Emergency Fund

Financial advisors generally advise couples to keep at least six months worth of combined living expenses in a separate bank account, like a high-yield savings account, for unexpected costs. Without any kind of cushion, a financial set-back (like a major home or car repair or loss of income) could force you to run up expensive debt that could take months, even years, to get out from under.

Newlyweds have largely gotten the message: Over half (65%) have already set up a shared emergency savings fund, while 21% are in the process of creating one. Only 14% of the couples in our survey haven’t yet established an emergency fund.

If you’re not sure if you and your partner have enough funds set aside for a rainy day, an online emergency fund calculator to help you crunch the numbers.

37% Have Discussed Planning for Retirement in Detail

According to one guideline called the 80% rule, couples should aim to replace 80% of their income annually when they retire. Considering that retirement can last 30 years or more, this can add up to a significant sum. One way to get there is to start early — this allows your money to grow through compounding (when your returns earn returns of their own).

Fortunately, many couples recognize the value of getting a jumpstart on retirement planning: Forty percent of newly married couples in our poll have had brief discussions about planning for retirement, and 37% have discussed the issue in detail. The remaining 23% say they haven’t discussed it yet.

2 out of 3 Newlyweds Share the Same Risk Investment Risk Tolerance

Many couples invest money for long-term goals (like retirement or a child’s future college education), whether that’s through a 401(k), an individual retirement account (IRA), or a brokerage account. However, they aren’t always on the same page when it comes to balancing risk versus potential reward with their investments.

How aligned were the couples in our survey? Most (67%) believe their risk tolerance is similar to their partner’s, while 27% say their appetite for risk is different than their spouse’s. Six percent aren’t sure.

Talking to your partner about investment goals and the strategies to achieve them can help you determine where each of you stand on risk tolerance. From there, you can figure out a way to bridge any differences.

Common Money Challenges Newlyweds Face

When we asked survey respondents to tell us about the largest financial challenge they and their partner are facing, this is what they told us:

•   Paying off debt: Credit card debt and loan payments are concerns that came up repeatedly.

•   Outstanding student loans: A number of respondents cited student loan debt in particular as a major worry.

•   Saving money: There isn’t much left to save after all the bills are paid, survey participants told us. “We just don’t earn enough,” one said, summing up a frustration felt by many.

•   Cost of living: High housing costs and the rising cost of living overall are making it hard for couples to get by. We heard similar concerns from our soon-to-be-married couples.

•   Affording a car: Trying to make car payments — or earning enough to qualify for a car loan — is challenging, people reported.

•   Cost of health care: Medical expenses and paying for health care were problems cited by a number of survey takers. “Rising health care costs are a burden,” a respondent said.

The Takeaway

According to SoFi’s 2024 Love & Money survey, couples who have been married for less than a year typically work as a team to deal with financial issues and work toward their future goals. They tend to talk about money frequently, mostly approve of each other’s spending habits, and many have discussed saving for retirement.

Yet at the same time, they cherish their financial independence. The majority keep at least some of their money separate, have prenuptial or postnuptial agreements with their partners, and section off some of their income to spend as they please.

Couples also face a number of financial challenges, including paying off debt and today’s high cost of living. For many, putting money in the bank for their future goals is a struggle, but also a priority. Choosing the right bank account can be a step in the right direction.

About the Survey

SoFi’s Love & Money Survey was conducted August 16 – September 1, 2024 and included 600 U.S. adults aged 18+ who have been married less than one year.

Percentages were rounded to the nearest whole number so some percentages may not add up to 100%.

Percentages were rounded to the nearest whole number so some percentages may not add up to 100%.

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How do couples today handle their finances before getting married? To find out, in August 2024 SoFi surveyed 450 adults who live with their partners (and intend to get married within the next three years) about money, relationships, and plans for the future.

Our results suggest that the majority of committed couples are open with each other about money and debt, are relatively aligned in their financial goals, and plan to talk about money at least monthly after marriage. That said, many have occasional disagreements over money and are worried about expenses, debt, and saving for the future.

Learn how other couples’ financial habits compare to yours, and get tips for dealing with love and money in a relationship.

Key Findings

Some highlights of SoFi’s 2024 Love & Money survey of soon-to-be married couples include:

•   More than one-quarter (28%) of survey respondents share a joint bank account with their partner before marriage.

•   75% of partners are very comfortable discussing money matters with their partner.

•   40% of cohabitating couples sometimes disagree about finances.

•   Only 14% of those surveyed are considering a prenup.

•   Nearly 1 in 5 (18%) of couples have postponed their wedding to save more money.

•   28% of respondents are thinking of postponing their wedding to save money, but they haven’t discussed the idea with their partner.

Financial Transparency Before Marriage

Overall, most couples today aren’t shy about sharing details about their finances. Many have discussed everything from the amount of debt they owe to their credit scores.

75% Are Very Comfortable Discussing Money Before Marriage

Although money issues can be difficult to talk about, discussing finances before marriage can help couples build a solid financial foundation for their future together.

The participants in the SoFi survey seem to be on the right track: Three-quarters said they freely discuss finances with their partner. Another 18% are somewhat comfortable having money talks, while around 6% are either neutral or somewhat uncomfortable. Better yet: Not even one survey respondent said they were very uncomfortable discussing finances with their future fiancé.

About 1 in 3 respondents said they started saving for their golden years between the ages of 25 to 35, while 17% began before age 25. That’s a positive sign, as getting an early start means more time to capitalize on the power of compounding returns. However, roughly 1 in 3 adults said they didn’t start saving until after the age of 36, and 13% said they had yet to put a retirement plan into action.

83% Disclose Their Debt

Transparency about debt is key for couples, particularly if you plan to get married. Being aware of how much combined debt you owe allows you to come up with strategies for paying it down and building financial security. Hiding debt, on the other hand, can lead to distrust in the relationship.

The good news is that the majority of our survey participants (83%) have told their partner about all the debt they owe. Another 14% have partially disclosed their debt, and just 3% haven’t revealed their debt at all.

87% Share Credit Scores

Even credit scores aren’t off limits to SoFi survey respondents. Most (87%) said they’ve told their partner what their credit score is. Only 8% haven’t shared this info, and 5% are planning to bring it up at some point. If you’d like to reveal your score to your partner, but you’re not sure what it is, there are ways to check your credit score for free.

Joint Finances and Future Planning

Many of SoFi’s Love & Money survey respondents are combining their money with their partners’ — even before marriage. Here’s how they’re managing money in their relationship.

28% Have a Joint Bank Account

A joint bank account can make it easier for couples to manage household bills and other shared expenses. That may explain why, even before they tie the knot, nearly 30% of respondents have a joint account with their significant other, and 39% are planning to open an account together.

However, whether to bank together is a highly personal decision, and some couples prefer to keep their money separate. In the SoFi survey, 15% of people said they don’t plan to open a joint account, and 18% said they haven’t talked about the idea yet.

Roughly 1 in 4 committed couples open a joint bank account before marriage.

Recommended: Joint Bank Accounts: What They Are and Pros and Cons

74% Discuss Their Financial Goals

Overwhelmingly, respondents to the survey report that they have discussed their long-term money goals and, in most cases, agree on what those goals are:

Of the 74% who said they’ve discussed long-term goals and are aligned, their top financial objective is buying a home.

85% Plan to Discuss Finances at Least Once a Month After Marriage

When it comes to love and money in a relationship, survey respondents aim to keep the lines of communication open after they get married. Eighty-five percent say they’ll talk about money monthly, while 40% are targeting weekly discussions.

Financial experts agree with this approach: Regular money talks during marriage can help lower financial stress, reinforce that you are both on the same team, and help you work toward — and achieve — shared goals. Together, you may be able to problem-solve your issues, for instance.

76% Want to Learn More About Managing Money Together

It’s one thing to manage finances as a single person, but when you merge money and bills with a partner, the task can become even more complicated. No wonder then that more than three-quarters of SoFi survey respondents said they’re interested in learning more about managing finances as a couple.

Some have already taken the first step: 16% have completed a financial education class with their significant other — even before saying “I do.”

Wedding Finances: How to Pay for the Big Day

A wedding is a huge expense — the average wedding in the U.S. costs $33,000, according to The Knot. For many couples, figuring out how much to spend and how to pay for their wedding day is the one of the first major money issues they may confront together. SoFi’s survey uncovered these intriguing truths about wedding spending.

81% Plan to Use Savings to Pay for Their Wedding

Most couples want to foot at least some of their wedding bill themselves: 81% are aiming to put their savings toward it. But many couples also need financial help from family or plan to borrow the funds to help cover the cost of their big day.

This is how SoFi respondents’ answers break down (they selected all that apply to their situation):

79% Agree About Wedding Spending

Although you might think that wedding expenses could be a source of friction, our survey found that most couples are completely or mostly in agreement about how much money to spend and what to spend it on: 79% of respondents report being in sync about this, with 37% saying they completely agree.

Another 18% are somewhat aligned on wedding spending, while 2% mostly disagree about it and less than 1% completely disagree.

41% Prioritize Saving for Their Future Over Wedding Spending

While a wedding is a milestone day in a couple’s relationship, saving for the future is also very important to respondents of SoFi’s Love & Money survey: A full 41% said putting money away for their future together is a bigger priority than paying for their wedding.

A slightly larger group of respondents (48%) want to balance both wedding expenses and saving for the future. Just 6% prioritize saving for their wedding over saving for their future.

Savings strategies for couples who want to build a nest egg for their future could include opening a high-yield savings account, contributing to a 401(k) at work, and setting up an IRA.

71% Have Discussed How Wedding Debt Might Impact Their Financial Goals

Considering that the cost of a wedding can run well into the tens of thousands of dollars, as noted above, our survey respondents are confronting the issue by talking about it. And almost one in five said they don’t plan to take on wedding debt.

28% Are Considering Postponing Their Wedding to Save More Money

When finances are tight, many respondents to our survey are willing to take action to avoid overspending and running up debt, even if it means putting off their big day. Almost one in five (18%) have already postponed their wedding day after discussing it with their partner. Another 28% report that they’re considering postponing their wedding, though they haven’t talked about the idea with their partner.

For 33% of respondents, postponing is not an option, and 20% have discussed the idea but decided not to put off their wedding.

Common Money Challenges Couples Face

When we asked survey respondents to tell us about the largest financial challenge they and their partner are facing, this is what they told us:

•   Saving money: Whether it’s for a house, kids, or retirement, putting away money for the future is a struggle for many survey respondents.

•   Paying off debt: Tackling credit card debt is a major concern many survey participants voiced.

•   Cost of living: From housing to groceries to being able to pay the monthly utility bills, respondents say the cost of everything has gone up. “We live paycheck to paycheck,” several told us.

•   Student loan debt: Paying off outstanding student loans weighs heavily on the minds of a number of respondents.

•   Lack of emergency savings: Trying to scrape together enough to create an emergency fund came up over and over with respondents.

Conflict and Communication

Numerous studies over the years have found that money is a common reason couples fight. But in SoFi’s 2024 Love & Money survey, just 10% of respondents said they often or very often argue about finances. Let’s call that progress!

41% Rarely Disagree About Money

When asked how often they disagree about financial matters, the top answer was “rarely.”

14% Are Considering a Prenuptial Agreement

Prenups are no longer just for the wealthy. Indeed, research suggests these legal contracts are growing in popularity, particularly among millennials and Gen Zs. Nevertheless, our survey suggests that only a minority of couples are on board with the idea. Among our respondents:

Couples Are Working on Communication

A large share of SoFi survey respondents are practicing helpful techniques to get in sync financially and work toward their goals together. These strategies include:

•   Having money conversations. In our research, couples made it clear that they talk about money issues, from credit scores to spending and saving. Three-quarters said they are very comfortable discussing money issues.

•   Coming clean about the uncomfortable stuff. 83% of participants have been completely transparent with their partner about the amount of debt they owe.

•   Staying on top of spending and saving. Fully 85% plan to review their finances together at least monthly.

•   Sharing their goals. Talking about long-term goals and being aligned on them is something 74% of respondents do.

•   Working as a team to improve their money skills. 76% percent are eager to learn more about managing money as a couple.

The Takeaway

Overall, couples who live together and plan on getting married are surprisingly in sync about their finances and their savings goals, according to findings from SoFi’s 2024 Love & Money survey.

Three-quarters of respondents are comfortable discussing money matters with their partner, and nearly as many are aligned about their financial goals for the future. The majority of survey participants share the details about the debt they owe and their credit scores. And 41% said they rarely disagree about finances.

However, respondents also acknowledge that they don’t always agree on money issues and struggle with a number of financial challenges, including saving for the future. Opening a joint bank account to save for emergencies and other goals is one way couples can take charge of their finances.

About the Survey

SoFi’s Love & Money Survey was conducted on August 22-23, 2024 and included 450 U.S. adults aged 18+ who were living with their partner, had discussed marriage with their partner, and were likely to get married within the next three years.

Percentages were rounded to the nearest whole number so some percentages may not add up to 100%.

Get better banking
with SoFi.

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