Marriage and Money: Resources and Tools for Your Financial Union

“We need to talk…money.”

Before saying “I do,” — and throughout the years that follow — it’s essential to have some important conversations about money. While the phrase “we need to talk” often carries a serious tone, these discussions are a proactive step toward a successful financial partnership. By addressing key topics like debt, financial goals, and budgeting, you can turn potential challenges into opportunities for growth.

• Talk #1:
  Debt and
  credit history

  Talk #1: Debt and credit history

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  Why it’s important:

  Understanding each other’s debt and credit history is crucial for avoiding surprises and ensuring you’re both on the same page financially. It helps build trust and prepares you to tackle financial challenges as a team.

  Goal of the convo:

  The goal is to openly discuss existing debts and credit scores, understand each other’s financial situation, and create a plan for managing and improving your finances jointly.

  Questions to ask:

  • What types of debt do you have (e.g., student loans, credit cards, mortgages)?

  • What is your credit score, and how do you manage your credit? Do you carry a balance or do you pay it off?

  • Do you have any outstanding loans or financial obligations?

  • How do you handle debt repayment and credit monitoring?

  How to prepare:

  • Review your own credit report and debt situation before the conversation. Determine if you’re responsible for your spouse’s debt.

  • Gather any relevant documents, such as loan statements or credit reports.

  • Be ready to discuss how you’ve managed debt in the past and your strategies for the future.

  • Approach the conversation with openness and a willingness to collaborate on solutions.

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• Talk #2:
  Financial goals and priorities

  Talk #2: Financial goals and priorities

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  Why it’s important:

  Discussing your financial goals and priorities ensures that you and your partner are aligned on what you want to achieve. It helps prevent conflicts and enables you to work effectively together.

  Goal of the convo:

  The goal is to identify and align on both short-term and long-term financial goals, such as buying a home, saving for retirement, or starting a family. This can help you create a cohesive financial plan.

  Questions to ask:

  • What are your top financial goals for the next 5-10 years?

  • What long-term financial dreams do you have, such as retirement plans or major purchases?

  • How do you prioritize these goals (e.g., saving for a home versus investing for retirement)?

  • Are there any financial goals you’ve already started working on?

  How to prepare:

  • Reflect on your own financial goals and priorities before the discussion.

  • Consider personal and joint aspirations you’d like to achieve.

  • Be ready to discuss how you envision achieving these goals.

  • Approach the conversation with a willingness to compromise and align your objectives.

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• Talk #3:
  Budgeting and spending habits

  Talk #3: Budgeting and spending habits

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  Why it’s important:

  Discussing budgeting and spending habits can prevent conflicts over money from arising and help both partners feel comfortable with how their finances are managed. It creates a unified approach to spending and saving.

  Goal of the convo:

  The goal is to understand each other’s spending habits, agree on a budgeting strategy, and establish how to effectively manage household expenses.

  Questions to ask:

  • What are your current spending habits, and how do you manage your money?

  • Do you follow a budget, and if so, what does it look like?

  • How do you handle discretionary spending versus essential expenses?

  • Are there any specific spending areas you think we should adjust or prioritize?

  How to prepare:

  • Review your own budgeting and spending practices beforehand. Using SoFi’s 50/30/20 monthly budget calculator may help.

  • Gather information on your monthly expenses, and think about any changes you might want to make.

  • Approach the discussion with an open mind and a willingness to adapt to a joint budget plan.

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• Talk #4:
  Savings and emergency funds

  Talk #4: Savings and emergency funds

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  Why it’s important:

  Discussing savings, including having an emergency fund, is vital for financial security. It ensures that you both understand how to handle unexpected expenses and have a plan for saving towards future goals.

  Goal of the convo:

  The goal is to agree on how much to save regularly, establish an emergency fund, and create a strategy for saving for future needs and goals.

  Questions to ask:

  • How much do you think we should have in our emergency fund?

  • What is our target savings amount for each month or year?

  • How do you envision dividing savings between an emergency fund and other goals?

  • Do we need to adjust our current savings strategies to meet our goals more effectively?

  How to prepare:

  • Review your current savings and emergency fund status before the conversation.

  • Determine your monthly or annual savings capacity and goals. SoFi’s emergency fund calculator can help with this.

  • Consider any unexpected expenses you’ve faced in the past and how you managed them.

  • Approach the discussion with a plan to set specific savings goals and agree on contribution amounts.

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• Talk #5:
  Financial roles and responsibilities

  Talk #5: Financial roles and responsibilities

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  Why it’s important:

  Clarifying financial roles and responsibilities helps prevent misunderstandings so that both partners are on the same page about who handles what. This can lead to a smoother financial management process.

  Goal of the convo:

  The goal is to define and agree on how to divide financial tasks and responsibilities, such as bill payments, financial planning, and investment management.

  Questions to ask:

  • How should we divide responsibilities for paying bills and managing expenses?

  • Who will handle budgeting, and how will we track our spending?

  • Are there specific financial tasks or decisions you prefer to handle individually or together?

  • Do we want to have joint bank accounts, separate accounts, or a combination of both?

  • How will we make financial decisions and resolve disagreements about money?

  How to prepare:

  • Reflect on your own strengths and preferences for managing finances.

  • Consider the existing financial responsibilities you already handle and how they might be shared.

  • Think about how you prefer to make joint financial decisions and address potential conflicts.

  • Approach the discussion with a readiness to balance responsibilities and collaborate effectively.

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