It’s no secret that many couples argue about money. But finances may impact our relationships in less obvious ways too.
A recent
academic study found that
being worried about money can make us feel worse about our partners, including during arguments.
We’re actually more apt to think they’re acting like jerks — even when they’re not — when we’re feeling financial stress.
Imagine you’re preoccupied by your bills. Your partner washes the dishes, puts the kids to bed, and walks the dog, but you notice none of it. Instead, when they check to see if you took out the trash, you see it as criticism and snap back.
In essence, the research — published last year in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships — found that there’s a real correlation between financial stress and
how partners notice and interpret their loved one’s actions. If money is putting you in a bad mood, you’re more apt to feel teased or neglected, blame your partner, or interpret their innocent actions negatively. You may even be more distrustful or willing to hurt their feelings.
This means
even if you and your partner don’t fight about money, your relationship could be suffering because of it. Money is the third-most commonly reported source of stress for Americans — barely trailing health and work, according to the American Psychological Foundation’s annual
Stress in America report.
So what? Financial stress can damage our most important relationships.
Getting your financial life in order not only reduces your anxiety, but could improve your love life. Whether that involves creating a budget, building an emergency savings fund, chipping away at your credit card debt, or cutting back on unnecessary expenses, strengthening your financial health can be rewarding on multiple fronts.
And you don’t have to tackle it on your own. SoFi has a huge library of
how-tos and other educational resources. Or a financial planner can help. (If you want to go that route, SoFi Plus members get
unlimited access to one-on-one financial planning.) Even just talking to your partner about your financial concerns can help.
Clear and open communication may actually bring you closer together.
Related Reading
• Survey: 2 in 5 Americans in a Relationship Have Kept a Financial Secret From Their Partner (Bankrate)
• Relationship Guru Esther Perel Says Couples Need to Talk about Money More. Here's Why It Shouldn't Be a 'Dirty Word' (Business Insider)
• Falling in Love? Three Money Conversations to Have Soon (Kiplinger)
Image Credit: Bernie Pesko/SoFi Source: Layla Bird/iStock
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