If you’ve recently decided to get divorced, you’re in good company.

Divorce filings tend to rise at the start of the year, giving January the unfortunate label of “divorce month.” (As it turns out, research shows that filings don’t actually peak until March, probably because unhappy couples who hold off during the holidays need a couple of months to get their paperwork organized.)

The seasonality of divorce means there are a lot of people just like you out there — people who are exceptionally stressed and emotional, but still have to navigate all the daunting financial considerations.

If you’re not sure where to start, take a deep breath — you will get through this. And we’ve got a short roadmap that should help. It includes when to meet with a divorce professional (right away,) how to determine your financial priorities, which documents to gather, and when and how to separate your financial accounts.

Step 1: Meet with a Divorce Professional

It may seem too early, but getting an initial one-on-one consultation with a divorce pro — whether it’s a lawyer or a mediator — is a smart first step, especially because the divorce process is so state-specific. Unless you work in family law, you’re not likely to know the ins and outs of your state’s laws, and you’re probably going to face a dizzying vocabulary of acronyms you’ve never heard before.

A professional can explain how your state may influence the divorce process, including:

•   Whether income and other factors determine how the family home and other property will be divided or if a 50/50 split is required

•   Similarly, whether retirement, savings, and other accounts will be split 50/50 or not

•   Whether “fault” has any role in property division or support payments

•   Whether there is a pre-filing waiting period and/or a post-filing cooling-off period

•   How the child support and spousal support guidelines and formulas work

•   Whether mediation is required (you may be able to avoid the kind of divorce showdown you see in TV dramas)

Certified Divorce Financial Analysts are also worth talking to, and can explain how different types of settlements might impact your long-term finances and taxes.

After you meet with a professional, here’s what to consider next (though not without their input.)

Step 2: Consider Your Must-Haves

Determining your financial priorities can help you figure out what you want to fight for and what you’re willing to live without. “Saying ‘I want it all!’ is useful neither to you nor your lawyer,” according to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts. This simple worksheet can help you decide what’s most important to you in these areas:

•   Division of shared property, such as the family home

•   Spousal and child support

•   Division of retirement accounts, savings, and other funds accrued during the marriage

•   Splitting debts, including credit card balances or personal loans

Step 3: Start Gathering Financial Info

You might want to begin gathering financial details, especially if your spouse handled the household finances and/or you’re concerned they may not be totally forthcoming.

Here’s a start, though your legal professional can give you a more complete checklist:

•   Personal details: SSNs, employer contact details, and health insurance information for each family member.

•   Tax information: At least three years of income tax returns and property tax bills.

•   Debts and loan details: Balances and account numbers on mortgages, HELOCs, credit cards, and other loans (student, personal, boat, and other loans).

•   Income figures: Pay stubs, interest and dividend income, and details on bonuses and unreported income.

•   Information on assets: Assessed values of real estate and cars, balances on investment accounts, and the coverage and cost of life insurance policies.

•   Bank account data: Monthly or annual spending on children or other dependents, utilities, food, transportation, medical, and other expenses.

Step 4: Severing Financial Ties

The surgical process of separating your financial life from your spouse’s is often time-consuming and messy. Missteps can wreck credit and get you in trouble in court, so tread carefully if you make any moves before your divorce is finalized. (And be aware: Lenders often don’t care if you’re divorced, if the debt was incurred when you were together.)

One way to efficiently and safely separate funds early in the divorce process is to work with your spouse to pay off debts and close down accounts. (It’s best to keep them in the loop when unwinding things anyway.)

Again, while this list gives you a framework for what’s ahead, always check with your legal professional before taking any of these steps:

•   Cancel joint accounts (and automatic withdrawals) and open/shift funds to individual accounts

•   Change logins and passwords on previously shared online accounts or apps

•   Remove spouses as authorized users on each others’ credit cards

•   Let utility companies know who is assuming responsibility for the bills

•   Change family cell plans to individual plans

•   Notify all financial providers of any change of address

•   Re-evaluate retirement saving rates and allocations for a single person

•   Update the beneficiaries on your retirement accounts and life insurance

photo credit: iStock/Valerii Evlakhov

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