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There was a time when 'I do' automatically meant 'we share.’
But as more Americans wait to tie the knot, joint bank accounts have become less of the default among married couples. In fact, 26% of all couples (married or not) say they keep their finances completely separate, including more than half of Gen Z and 34% of millennials, according to a new Bankrate survey.
It makes sense that if you’re older and more established when you get married, you’re less likely to want to merge everything. And there are downsides to joint accounts, including less autonomy and privacy.
But there are advantages, too, and a recent study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests they involve more than logistics and convenience: Pooling bank accounts actually makes it easier for couples to talk about money, the study found, and can even help them agree on spending priorities and avoid conflicts.
So what?
Candid conversations about money can be hard, but proactive communication can help you and your partner get on the same page about debt, spending, budgeting, and financial priorities. Bottling things up can snowball, adding to stress levels and creating new financial challenges.
Even if maintaining separate accounts feels safer, a joint account could be an anchor for shared goals — or kickstart the conversations you’ve been avoiding. And it’s not an either/or choice: About 36% of couples in the Bankrate survey share a joint account while still retaining individual ones.
Here are some other pros and cons of joint accounts to weigh with your partner:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Simplifies paying for shared expenses | Reduces privacy and limits independence in making financial decisions |
| Improves transparency about the flow of money in and out | Ties both people to any overdrafts or penalties caused by either partner's spending |
| Signals trust and creates a sense of togetherness | Complicates decoupling after a breakup or divorce |
Regardless of how much you mix your money, the way you communicate matters more than the names on a bank account. Sticking to these ground rules can help keep your finances from becoming a point of friction or a source of resentment:
• Don’t keep secrets. Joint accounts add transparency, but they don’t prevent someone from lying or hiding debt or big purchases (aka financial infidelity.) What might? Allowing each other a set amount of “guilt-free spending,” says Ramit Sethi, host of the “Money for Couples” podcast.
• Stay invested. Joint account or not, if managing the finances falls to one person in the couple, that person can wind up feeling responsible for every financial outcome. Going over monthly statements together keeps both partners in the loop.
• Make it a date. Instead of bringing up heavy stuff out of the blue, set a time to hash out big topics like long-term goals or big lifestyle changes (e.g. having a kid or buying a home.) And have a little celebration when you’re done.
• Listen. Open communication is as much about listening as talking, according to Brian Walsh, CFP® and Head of Advice & Planning at SoFi. This includes understanding each other’s values, goals, and fears.
Related Readings
Cash In As A Couple: How To Get On The Same Page About Money (Bankrate)
Money and Marriage: Making Important Money Decisions in Marriage (SoFi)
Top Reason Couples Fight: Money Disputes and Solutions (Investopedia)
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