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As parents age, roles often reverse: They need the support of the people they once supported.

They may need their children to help them manage their day-to-day lives, take care of them when they’re ill, or help them navigate their finances and retirement income. Whatever type of support they need, this shift is a common reality: An estimated 38.2 million people in the U.S. provide unpaid care to adults 65 and older.

Eldercare can be especially hard for the so-called "sandwich generation” — typically, middle-aged Gen Xers who are not only helping their aging parents but also raising children at home, too.

Certified Financial Planner Beth Pinsker, author of My Mother's Money: A Guide to Financial Caregiving, is a member of the sandwich generation and recently spoke to Liz Thomas, Head of Investment Strategy at SoFi, on The Important Part podcast.

Here’s what she learned from taking care of her mother’s finances when her mom was ill, including three tips you may not have heard before.

Getting older should mean spending with purpose, not saving with fear

Many folks are so focused on saving money for later in life that once they actually get to later in life, they’re stuck in saving mode, Pinsker said.

The goal is to have money when you need it, but some people end up depriving themselves of comfort and aid..

"When I was taking care of my mom's finances, I realized that she was saving, saving, saving for a rainy day. And she was living in a downpour,” Pinsker said.

Financial caregiving is often about helping parents manage the "decumulation phase" so it’s clear how and when to spend their hard-earned savings, she said.

The best financial decision Pinsker made when her mom was sick was "choosing to spend money where it would have impact," she said. This included hiring people who could help take care of her mother, add to her quality of life, and keep her safe.

Caregivers need Power of Attorney (and maybe a joint account)

If you’re going to be a financial caregiver, you’ll want to have a Power of Attorney (POA) drawn up so you’re not powerless in a crisis.

This legal document will give you the right to act on your parent’s behalf if they become incapacitated. But it must be presented to your parent’s financial institutions and filed with their legal departments before you’ll have access to their accounts, Pinsker said.

Pinsker learned this the hard way after her mom had surgery and was too ill to sign any checks herself.

"I didn't have the power of attorney enacted at her bank, so I couldn't sign the check in my name for her... I was stuck," she said.

Pinsker said people may think setting up a joint bank account with an older parent is enough, but it’s not. In fact, while a joint account can be convenient, it can also cause problems. If your teenage children are applying for financial aid to college, for instance, the funds in that joint account will be included in your assets. Same thing if you’re getting divorced. Then again, a POA isn’t valid after death, so Pinsker suggests a joint account with a small sum of money in it to ensure some funds and bank records are accessible, including after death.

Your parent should set up a “legacy contact”

If a parent becomes incapacitated or dies, it may not be enough to have shared the passwords to their financial accounts, Pinsker said. Given how often our phones are used as part of two-factor authentication, it’s important to grant access to their phone too.

“Your phone now is your key to your entire life,” Pinsker said.

Setting up what’s known as a “legacy contact” can be done right in most phones (instructions here.) Essentially, you designate a person — like you would a beneficiary to your 401k — and the phone will generate a printable QR code and instructions for that designee to use if something happens. Then you print that out and keep it in a safe place with other important papers.

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