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Today, it’s not uncommon for adult children to return home or never leave the nest to start with. About one in three 18- to 34-year-olds live with their parents, according to the most recent U.S. Census Bureau data.

Moving back home can be a wise move for grown kids who may be dealing with job uncertainty, earning a low income, and/or be facing a mountain of student loan debt.

And it can wind up being a good deal for parents as well.

Some of the benefits include: opportunities for companionship, the possibility of sharing household expenses, and the ability for adult children to pay down student debt and save money for longer-term financial goals (for instance, buying a house).

But living in the same household again can also bring opportunities for tension and misunderstandings.

That’s why parents who welcome their kids back may want to set a few guidelines. Here are some rules both parents and grown children might want to wrangle before moving back in under one roof.

What Is the Timeframe?

When adult children move back home, it’s helpful for both parties to have a timeframe in place, rather than the ’’foreseeable future.”

This may mean talking about why the move is happening. Is it to save money? If so, what is the money being saved for, and at what point should the child move out?

Some parents might find it helpful to set up a trial period, after which they can have a frank conversation about what is and is not working in the arrangement.


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Going Over the Financials

Many misunderstandings from adult children living at home stem from confusion over how much money, if any, they are expected to contribute.

It can be helpful for both parties to consider their expectations before coming together and talking through them. Some issues you may want to think about and then discuss:

•   Will adult children be expected to pay rent? And if so, how much will rent cost? When will it be due? Some parents might want to set a flat rate, while others might consider a percentage of the child’s income, if that income is currently low but expected to rise.

•   Will the child be responsible for a portion of bills, groceries, or other household costs?

•   How will resources be allocated? Is the fridge open for anyone? Can the child use the family car if they need it?

•   How much will bills go up with additional usage? Parents might decide they want their child to pay for any overages, or they might be okay with handling the increase themselves.

Recommended: How to Manage Money Better

Going Over House Rules and Behavior Expectations

Some parents have a “my house, my rules” expectation. But it can sometimes be mutually beneficial if both parties talk about behavior expectations with an attitude of give and take.

Often “unspoken expectations” don’t come up until a problem occurs. Talking through them proactively can make sure that everyone is on the same page.

Some issues parents and adult kids may want to go over:

•   What are expectations for guests? Is it okay for romantic partners to sleep over? Do parents need a heads up before guests come by?

•   What are communication expectations? Should a child inform their parents if they won’t be home by a certain time?

•   What chores are expected? It’s wise to go over whether or not you expect that your child to do some of the supermarket shopping and/or clean any areas of the house beyond their living spaces. It’s perfectly acceptable to have your adult child pitch in on dinner duty, take on cleaning, or otherwise contribute to the house as an adult. Perhaps they pay for their own monthly supermarket costs.

•   What do daily schedules look like? Maybe one family member needs quiet for work meetings. Maybe another needs access to family exercise equipment or the shower in the morning? Talking through routines — from breakfast to bedtime — will set expectations and avoid misunderstandings.

•   What does privacy mean when you’re under the same roof?

Both parties may be concerned about how the new arrangement will affect their lives, and talking through those concerns can help families find solutions that work for everyone.

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Helping Adult Children Achieve Financial Independence

There’s nothing like living together to get financial habits out in the open. This applies to adult children and their parents. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. By keeping an open dialogue about money, you can help your adult children get on the right financial track (and perhaps move out sooner, rather than later).

Here are some ways you may be able to help adult children work towards financial security.

Talking Through Financial and Savings Goals

Instead of asking your adult child how much they have saved, or how much credit card debt they have, consider asking them to talk through their short-term financial goals and long-term ones too.

Putting Rent to Work

Some parents who are in a position to do so may want to charge their children rent and then use that money to gift their child a down payment on a home or car, help with tuition, or assist their child in reaching another financial goal.

Or, in lieu of rent, you might request that your child set up an automatic deposit into a savings account that could eventually become a security deposit on a rental or an emergency fund.

Teaching by Example

One way to encourage disclosure about your adult child’s financial picture is to talk through your own.

Talk broadly through your retirement plan, any long-term care plans, or how you hit your own financial goals (such as buying a house). This can help your child start good financial habits and build a positive money mindset.

After all, personal finance is not typically taught formally, and giving your adult child — no matter how old — some insight into the tools and strategies you use can give them ideas for how they can effectively manage their money.

Trying Not to Nitpick

While it can be helpful to talk through your own strategies, it may not be helpful if your child feels like you’re critical of the way they are spending money.

Let’s say your adult child buys a latte every day. Sure, you can point out how much they would potentially save if they put that money into a high-yield savings account instead. But for the sake of the relationship, it may be easier to let certain habits go and focus on what your child is doing to work toward financial goals, such as investing in their company’s 401(k) plan or doing their taxes well in advance of tax day.

The Takeaway

Living under one roof may not always be easy for adult children or parents, but it comes with an opportunity for growth for everyone, as well as a closer relationship as equals.

Part of forging that relationship may involve setting some parameters early on about what is expected from grown children while they are living at home, from how much they may be expected to contribute financially to how often they can use the car.

Letting kids move back home (where they can live more affordably), and having open discussions about money, can help them not only save, but also develop good financial habits.

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FAQ

What are reasonable expectations for an adult child living at home?

Reasonable expectations for an adult child living at home include contributing to household chores, paying a fair share of expenses, and maintaining a respectful and considerate attitude. They should also generally have a clear plan for their future, whether it’s pursuing education, employment, or other goals. Regular communication and setting clear boundaries can help ensure a harmonious living arrangement.

What if my adult child refuses to move out?

If your adult child refuses to move out, it’s a good idea to have an open and honest conversation about their reasons and your concerns. Ideally, you’ll want to set clear expectations and a timeline for moving out, and offer support in finding a place and securing employment. Consider creating a written agreement outlining responsibilities and consequences. If necessary, seek the help of a mediator or counselor to facilitate the discussion.

How to deal with disrespectful adult children living at home?

Dealing with disrespectful adult children generally involves setting firm boundaries and clear consequences. Consider having a calm and direct conversation about the specific behaviors that are unacceptable and the impact they have. Establish rules and consequences, and be consistent in enforcing them. At the same time, you’ll want to offer support and resources to help them become more independent. If the behavior continues, consider seeking family counseling or setting a deadline for them to move out.

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SOBNK-Q225-044

Federal student loans could be either Direct Loans or “indirect loans” until 2010, when Congress voted to eliminate the latter. Yet many borrowers of indirect loans, also known as Federal Family Education Loans (FFELs), continue to struggle with repayment today.

Here’s what student borrowers should know about the two different loan types.

Indirect vs Direct Student Loans

Indirect Student Loans

The Federal Family Education Loan Program was funded by private lenders (banks, credit unions, etc.), but guaranteed by the federal government. The program ended in 2010, and loans are now made through the Federal Direct Loan Program.

The government didn’t directly insure FFEL Program loans. Instead, it acted through a guarantor, which paid the lender if the borrower defaulted. Then, the government reimbursed the guarantor.

When it came to questions about payment, borrowers dealt with the lender, the guarantor, the servicer, or a collection agency — not the government.

Direct Student Loans

With a Direct Loan, made through the William D. Ford Federal Direct Loan Program, the funds come directly from the U.S. Department of Education, which gets the money from the U.S. Treasury. The loans are made by the Department of Education and backed by the federal government.

Direct Loans consist of Direct Subsidized and Direct Unsubsidized Loans, Direct PLUS Loans, and Direct Consolidation Loans.

Before 2010, every school made its own decision about whether to participate in a direct or indirect loan program, or possibly both. But there were some differences in interest rates, fees, and repayment options of these types of student loans.

What Kind of Loans Do You Have?

If you’re thinking about how to best address your student loan debt, it’s important to know what kind of loan or loans you have, including whether they are Direct Loans or FFELs.

To figure out your loan types, log into your account on StudentAid.gov and click on “My Aid” in the dropdown section. In the “Loan Breakdown” section, you’ll see each loan you have and your loan balances. You can also find information there on who your loan servicers are, including their contact information, and your loan amounts. On each loan servicer’s website, you’ll find information about your monthly payments and payment history, and your loan interest rates and terms.

Repaying FFEL Program Loans

Even though indirect student loans ended on June 30, 2010, there are still 7.29 million borrowers who hold $165.4 billion in FFEL loans as of 2024.

Borrowers must consolidate their FFEL loans before they can apply for one of the income-driven repayment plans, which base monthly loan payments on your discretionary income and family size over a period of 20 or 25 years, typically resulting in lower payments.

FFEL loan holders also must consolidate loans to apply for Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF), which allows those who work in qualifying public service jobs for the government or nonprofit organizations to have certain loan balances forgiven after 120 on-time payments.

Here are more on repayment options.

Income-Sensitive Repayment Plan

Only low-income FFEL borrowers may qualify for this FFEL repayment plan. The lender determines the monthly payment based on a fixed percentage of the borrower’s gross monthly income. Payments are made for a maximum period of 10 years.

Consolidating Your Loans

Consolidating loans with a federal Direct Consolidation Loan combines your loans into one loan with one payment. The interest rate on a Direct Consolidation Loan is the weighted average of the borrower’s current federal loans, rounded up to the nearest one-eighth of a percentage point.

This loan does not lower your interest rate, and may even increase the amount of interest that is paid over the life of the loan. If you decide to lengthen your payment period (for example, from 10 to 20 or even 30 years), your monthly payment may be lower, but the total interest you’ll pay over the life of the loan will most likely be higher.

A Direct Consolidation Loan may be an option for borrowers who want to streamline their payments rather than those who are looking to save money.

If you don’t have any indirect loans, you still can consider consolidating your Direct Student Loans. (Note that only federal student loans, not private student loans, are eligible for consolidation into a Direct Consolidation Loan.)

Refinancing Your Loans

Another option is to apply to refinance your student loans — federal, private, or both — into one new loan through a private lender. Ideally, the new loan will have a lower interest rate or better loan terms.

Before deciding to refinance federal loans, it’s important to note that when you refinance, you lose access to federal benefits. This includes income-driven repayment plans and Public Service Loan Forgiveness.

If you have a lower debt-to-income ratio after graduation and have built your credit over time since you first took out your student loans — and you don’t foresee a need for federal benefits — refinancing may be an option to consider, especially if you can qualify for a lower interest rate.

You can see how much you could save with our student loan refinancing calculator.

The Takeaway

Approximately 7.29 million borrowers are repaying FFEL Program loans as of 2024. The last of these “indirect loans” were issued in 2010, when federal Direct Loans largely took over.

Whether you’re repaying a FFEL loan, Direct Loan, or private loan, it’s a good idea to learn your options and figure out which makes the most sense for your situation.

Looking to lower your monthly student loan payment? Refinancing may be one way to do it — by extending your loan term, getting a lower interest rate than what you currently have, or both. (Please note that refinancing federal loans makes them ineligible for federal forgiveness and protections. Also, lengthening your loan term may mean paying more in interest over the life of the loan.) SoFi student loan refinancing offers flexible terms that fit your budget.

FAQ

What is an indirect student loan?

Indirect student loans are also known as Federal Family Education Loans (FFEL). These loans were discontinued in 2010. Before that time, the Department of Education worked with private lenders through the Federal Family Education Program to provide these student loans, which were backed by the federal government. Student loans are now made through the Federal Direct Loan Program. However, about 7.29 million borrowers in the U.S. are still repaying FFEL loans.

How do I know if my loan is direct or indirect?

To determine if your loan is direct or indirect, log into your account on StudentAid.gov and click on “My Aid” in the dropdown section. In the “Loan Breakdown” section, you’ll see each loan you have. Direct loans start with the word “direct,” while indirect loans start with “FFEL.”

What is better, a subsidized or unsubsidized loan?

A subsidized Direct loan is generally preferable to an unsubsidized loan. The main difference between them is the way the interest is handled. With a Direct Subsidized Loan, you won’t be charged interest on the loan while you’re in school or during the six-month grace period after graduation. With a Direct Unsubsidized Loan, interest starts accumulating from the time the loan is disbursed and you are responsible for paying that interest.

SoFi Student Loan Refinance
Terms and conditions apply. SoFi Refinance Student Loans are private loans. When you refinance federal loans with a SoFi loan, YOU FORFEIT YOUR ELIGIBILITY FOR ALL FEDERAL LOAN BENEFITS, including all flexible federal repayment and forgiveness options that are or may become available to federal student loan borrowers including, but not limited to: Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF), Income-Based Repayment, Income-Contingent Repayment, extended repayment plans, PAYE or SAVE. Lowest rates reserved for the most creditworthy borrowers. Learn more at SoFi.com/eligibility. SoFi Refinance Student Loans are originated by SoFi Bank, N.A. Member FDIC. NMLS #696891 (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org).

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