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Today, it’s not uncommon for adult children to return home or never leave the nest to start with. About one in three 18- to 34-year-olds live with their parents, according to the most recent U.S. Census Bureau data.

Moving back home can be a wise move for grown kids who may be dealing with job uncertainty, earning a low income, and/or be facing a mountain of student loan debt.

And it can wind up being a good deal for parents as well.

Some of the benefits include: opportunities for companionship, the possibility of sharing household expenses, and the ability for adult children to pay down student debt and save money for longer-term financial goals (for instance, buying a house).

But living in the same household again can also bring opportunities for tension and misunderstandings.

That’s why parents who welcome their kids back may want to set a few guidelines. Here are some rules both parents and grown children might want to wrangle before moving back in under one roof.

What Is the Timeframe?

When adult children move back home, it’s helpful for both parties to have a timeframe in place, rather than the ’’foreseeable future.”

This may mean talking about why the move is happening. Is it to save money? If so, what is the money being saved for, and at what point should the child move out?

Some parents might find it helpful to set up a trial period, after which they can have a frank conversation about what is and is not working in the arrangement.


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Going Over the Financials

Many misunderstandings from adult children living at home stem from confusion over how much money, if any, they are expected to contribute.

It can be helpful for both parties to consider their expectations before coming together and talking through them. Some issues you may want to think about and then discuss:

•   Will adult children be expected to pay rent? And if so, how much will rent cost? When will it be due? Some parents might want to set a flat rate, while others might consider a percentage of the child’s income, if that income is currently low but expected to rise.

•   Will the child be responsible for a portion of bills, groceries, or other household costs?

•   How will resources be allocated? Is the fridge open for anyone? Can the child use the family car if they need it?

•   How much will bills go up with additional usage? Parents might decide they want their child to pay for any overages, or they might be okay with handling the increase themselves.

Recommended: How to Manage Money Better

Going Over House Rules and Behavior Expectations

Some parents have a “my house, my rules” expectation. But it can sometimes be mutually beneficial if both parties talk about behavior expectations with an attitude of give and take.

Often “unspoken expectations” don’t come up until a problem occurs. Talking through them proactively can make sure that everyone is on the same page.

Some issues parents and adult kids may want to go over:

•   What are expectations for guests? Is it okay for romantic partners to sleep over? Do parents need a heads up before guests come by?

•   What are communication expectations? Should a child inform their parents if they won’t be home by a certain time?

•   What chores are expected? It’s wise to go over whether or not you expect that your child to do some of the supermarket shopping and/or clean any areas of the house beyond their living spaces. It’s perfectly acceptable to have your adult child pitch in on dinner duty, take on cleaning, or otherwise contribute to the house as an adult. Perhaps they pay for their own monthly supermarket costs.

•   What do daily schedules look like? Maybe one family member needs quiet for work meetings. Maybe another needs access to family exercise equipment or the shower in the morning? Talking through routines — from breakfast to bedtime — will set expectations and avoid misunderstandings.

•   What does privacy mean when you’re under the same roof?

Both parties may be concerned about how the new arrangement will affect their lives, and talking through those concerns can help families find solutions that work for everyone.

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Helping Adult Children Achieve Financial Independence

There’s nothing like living together to get financial habits out in the open. This applies to adult children and their parents. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. By keeping an open dialogue about money, you can help your adult children get on the right financial track (and perhaps move out sooner, rather than later).

Here are some ways you may be able to help adult children work towards financial security.

Talking Through Financial and Savings Goals

Instead of asking your adult child how much they have saved, or how much credit card debt they have, consider asking them to talk through their short-term financial goals and long-term ones too.

Putting Rent to Work

Some parents who are in a position to do so may want to charge their children rent and then use that money to gift their child a down payment on a home or car, help with tuition, or assist their child in reaching another financial goal.

Or, in lieu of rent, you might request that your child set up an automatic deposit into a savings account that could eventually become a security deposit on a rental or an emergency fund.

Teaching by Example

One way to encourage disclosure about your adult child’s financial picture is to talk through your own.

Talk broadly through your retirement plan, any long-term care plans, or how you hit your own financial goals (such as buying a house). This can help your child start good financial habits and build a positive money mindset.

After all, personal finance is not typically taught formally, and giving your adult child — no matter how old — some insight into the tools and strategies you use can give them ideas for how they can effectively manage their money.

Trying Not to Nitpick

While it can be helpful to talk through your own strategies, it may not be helpful if your child feels like you’re critical of the way they are spending money.

Let’s say your adult child buys a latte every day. Sure, you can point out how much they would potentially save if they put that money into a high-yield savings account instead. But for the sake of the relationship, it may be easier to let certain habits go and focus on what your child is doing to work toward financial goals, such as investing in their company’s 401(k) plan or doing their taxes well in advance of tax day.

The Takeaway

Living under one roof may not always be easy for adult children or parents, but it comes with an opportunity for growth for everyone, as well as a closer relationship as equals.

Part of forging that relationship may involve setting some parameters early on about what is expected from grown children while they are living at home, from how much they may be expected to contribute financially to how often they can use the car.

Letting kids move back home (where they can live more affordably), and having open discussions about money, can help them not only save, but also develop good financial habits.

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FAQ

What are reasonable expectations for an adult child living at home?

Reasonable expectations for an adult child living at home include contributing to household chores, paying a fair share of expenses, and maintaining a respectful and considerate attitude. They should also generally have a clear plan for their future, whether it’s pursuing education, employment, or other goals. Regular communication and setting clear boundaries can help ensure a harmonious living arrangement.

What if my adult child refuses to move out?

If your adult child refuses to move out, it’s a good idea to have an open and honest conversation about their reasons and your concerns. Ideally, you’ll want to set clear expectations and a timeline for moving out, and offer support in finding a place and securing employment. Consider creating a written agreement outlining responsibilities and consequences. If necessary, seek the help of a mediator or counselor to facilitate the discussion.

How to deal with disrespectful adult children living at home?

Dealing with disrespectful adult children generally involves setting firm boundaries and clear consequences. Consider having a calm and direct conversation about the specific behaviors that are unacceptable and the impact they have. Establish rules and consequences, and be consistent in enforcing them. At the same time, you’ll want to offer support and resources to help them become more independent. If the behavior continues, consider seeking family counseling or setting a deadline for them to move out.

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Many parents are thinking about financial literacy in a new light. Money has always been complicated, but the world of digital transactions and ready credit has made it even more so. But because personal finance classes in schools may not be required, it’s largely up to parents to help their kids become money savvy.

Parents can try to set their kids on the right path by teaching them the investment basics you wish you’d learned when you were young. Here are some actionable, age-appropriate tips for teaching your kids about investing.

Set the Stage: From Saving to Investing

If your children have their own savings accounts, or even a piggy bank, you’re off to a good start. But at some point, you can start introducing more advanced financial topics (with examples whenever possible). Every kid is different, so you’ll have to gauge your children’s interest and comprehension. These are some concepts to discuss.

Risk vs Reward

Conventional wisdom says that the riskier the investment, the higher the payout. But the opposite is also true. The riskier the investment, the more you can lose.

Explain to kids that unlike a savings account, which is safe but grows money slowly, an investment account usually carries more risk, so it may grow faster but it also may lose money.

Diversifying Investments

Even a young child should be able to understand diversification by the phrase “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” When teaching older kids, you can give examples of different types of investments — stocks, bonds, mutual funds, real estate, and other investments — and explain the role each might play in a portfolio.

Supply and Demand

The stock market is generally driven by supply and demand. If more investors demand to own stocks, the market rises. If there are more sellers than buyers, the market falls. As an example, you might be able to talk about how the price of a hard-to-get toy drops over time, or how clothes get cheaper when they’re out of season.

Researching Investments

If you have children who love to look up things online, why not make the most of that interest and skill set? Ask them about the companies they think might be a good investment, and then check out the reality. (Some of their favorite brands may be privately traded, so that’s another conversation you can have.)

Older kids can look for news stories that summarize analysts’ reports.

Gaming and the Market

Another way to get older kids interested in investing? Let them learn and practice trading with an online game or app. There are many options out there, including animated games that give kids a goal and ask them to make investment choices about getting there.

Play Follow the Market

Once your kids understand a little bit about how the stock market works, you can begin following the markets together and track how they’d do if they were actually invested in a particular stock, for example. Older kids might like to create an online watch list of their favorites on finance sites where they can watch market movements without risking actual cash.

Go Buy the Book

It might sound like a pretty old-school way to explain investing to kids, but there are books out there that include plenty of illustrations, fun language, and important lessons, including these:

What All Kids (and Adults Too) Should Know About … Savings and Investing, by Rob Pivnick, covers saving, budgeting and investing.

Go! Stock! Go!: A Stock Market Guide for Enterprising Children and Their Curious Parents, by Bennett Zimmerman, follows the Johnson family as they learn the fundamentals of stocks and bonds, the mechanics of investing, and the ups and downs of risk and reward.

I’m a Shareholder Kit: The Basics About Stocks — For Kids/Teens, by Rick Roman, is a spiral-bound book that was last updated in May 2018 and is designed to appeal to kids who want to know about investing and managing their money.


💡 Quick Tip: When you’re actively investing in stocks, it’s important to ask what types of fees you might have to pay. For example, brokers may charge a flat fee for trading stocks, or require some commission for every trade. Taking the time to manage investment costs can be beneficial over the long term.

Make It Real With a Custodial Account

If you want to give kids a taste of what investing is like, you can open a custodial account and either make some picks yourself or let your children do the choosing.

Custodial accounts give kids financial visibility but limited responsibility because they are not allowed access to the account’s money or assets. In almost all cases, the parent is responsible for managing the money until their child reaches adulthood.

Many discount brokers offer investment accounts for kids online. Some brokers have also introduced hybrid products for teens that allow them to save money, spend, and invest all in one place with the supervision of their parents.

What to Invest in

One way to make the lesson more meaningful might be to think about the things that are important to the kids at each stage of life and pick a stock that represents it. (The company that makes their favorite snacks, for example, a top toy brand, or a clothing label.)

As your children get older, they can have more input, and you can talk about how dividends work, the power of compounding returns, and what it means to buy and hold. If your kids can’t decide between two companies, they can work together to research the better choice.

Recommended: What Does Buy & Hold Mean?

It’s important to note that there are pros and cons to creating investing portfolios for minors, so you’ll likely want to check out any consequences related to future taxes and when the child applies for financial aid for college.

Discuss Compounding Returns

Want to show your kids the magic of compounding interest? The Compound Interest Calculator on the Securities and Exchange Commission’s Investor.gov website is easy to use and understand. Just plug in an initial amount, how much you expect to add each month, and the interest rate you expect to earn. The calculator will chart out an estimate of how much your child’s initial deposit would grow over time.

To take it a step further, you can teach your children to use the “Rule of 72” to compare different types of investments. According to this rule, money doubles at a rate where 72 is divided by the percentage gain. So, if your child is looking at an investment that returns 4% annually, it will double in 18 years, or 72 divided by 4.

Share Your Own Family’s Adventures in Investing

Whether it’s a success story or a cautionary tale, kids can learn a lot from their family history. For example, in a conversation about the value of investing and goal-setting, you could talk about how your parents and grandparents made and saved their money vs. how it’s done today. Focus on storytelling instead of lecturing, and encourage questions to keep kids involved.

The Takeaway

There are many ways to introduce kids of all ages to the concept of investing. The simplest one is to share with them your own investing history and perspectives. Beyond that, use websites, videos, books, and other tools — including a custodial account, if you want — to illustrate the how-tos, dos, and don’ts of investing.

Keep it fun, and don’t forget to share some of your own goals and financial plans with your kids. Kids learn by participating in real life. Someday your adult children might be telling tales around the dinner table about how your lessons helped advance their financial savvy.

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